All of us have been there. We make plans to do something, we look forward to it, and then something happens. We might find ourselves with a conflicting obligation, or we may not feel like doing what we originally planned. And, that is okay! You shouldn’t feel bad about changing your mind.
Now, if you find yourself trying to cancel plans regularly, there may be more to the story. It’s important to take some time and reflect on it if that is the case. Are you avoiding the person you’re supposed to spend time with? Do you feel anxious about the plans you made? Remember, it’s important to step out of your comfort zone from time to time.
The truth is, you don’t really need an excuse to cancel plans. If you don’t feel like doing something, you should be honest with the person you made plans with. You can always reschedule or spend time together on a different date. And, people are generally pretty good at recognizing an excuse that is not 100% truthful.
That being said, there are many good reasons to cancel plans. Here are just a few
1. Illness
Examples:
- I am feeling a bit under the weather so I won’t be able to make it.
- My (family member) isn’t feeling well, so I’ll be staying in to take care of them.
- I need a mental health day.
If you or a loved one are feeling under the weather, you should not feel guilty about staying home to rest and take care of yourself. Or, you may need to take care of someone else who is sick. You also don’t need to be wrapped in the covers with a high fever and a box of tissues. There is a such thing as taking a mental health day, you know. If you feel physically or mentally unwell, take the time you need to get better.
2. Financial issues
Examples:
- Due to financial reasons, I won’t be able to make it.
- It’s not in my budget to attend.
- I didn’t realize the cost of attending, and it’s a bit out of my budget at this time.
- I have some expenses I need to cover before going out.
Sometimes we make plans without thinking about the financial obligations. Going to brunch every Sunday will certainly add up! If the plans you made do not fit within your budget, it’s important to be honest about your circumstances and cancel if you have to. Overspending will only lead to more stress further down the road. You can also suggest making plans that do fit within your budget. There are plenty of cost-free ways to spend time with the people we love.
3. Prior commitments or over-scheduling
Examples:
- I completely forgot about a prior commitment I had already scheduled.
- I double booked myself and won’t be able to attend.
- Unfortunately, I have an alternate commitment I need to prioritize.
- There is a scheduling conflict and I need to change my plans.
It happens to the best of us. We make commitments, agree to plans, or make an appointment and completely forget about it. Maybe you forgot to jot it down in your planner or set a reminder on your phone. Either way, you can’t be everywhere at once. So, prioritize your commitments and cancel the plans you need to.
4. Weather conditions
Example:
- I am not comfortable driving in the weather conditions.
- I will be staying home to avoid driving in the weather.
- The forecast has changed since we made plans, and I need to cancel now that the weather doesn’t look great.
If you’ve made plans to attend dinner, and a blizzard is about to barrel through your town, you may want to reconsider. It is completely reasonable to cancel plans if you feel uneasy about driving or traveling through difficult weather conditions. And, never let anyone pressure you to do something you’re not comfortable with.
5. Childcare issues
Examples:
- I am unable to find childcare so I won’t be able to attend.
- I was not able to secure a babysitter for that night, so I will be staying home.
Finding childcare isn’t always the easiest thing to do. If you are unable to secure a babysitter or someone to watch your child, you may need to cancel the plans you made.
6. Transportation issues
Examples:
- My car is having issues so I will not be able to make it.
- The train schedule changed and I can no longer attend.
- I’m having issues finding transportation and cannot go.
How are you supposed to enjoy your dinner plans if you can’t make it to the restaurant? We all encounter issues with transportation from time to time. Sometimes, our vehicles can act up at the worst possible times. Or, there may be a delay with public transportation.
7. Issues with a pet
Example:
- My dog is ill and needs to be monitored, so I need to stay home.
- My pet has been acting a little funny and the vet told me to keep an eye on them.
- My goldfish doesn’t appear to be eating normally (okay, this one is a joke).
Our furry friends are family. If your pet isn’t feeling well and needs your attention, it’s okay to cancel plans. Our dog was sick with GI issues and needed to be let out every single hour. If we had gone out that evening, we would have come home to a serious mess.
8. Home issues
Example:
- Someone is coming today to fix the plumbing/electric/etc.
- My appliance broke and needs to be replaced today.
Pipes burst, appliances break, and sometimes, our home needs our immediate attention. If you have an issue going on at your house, you may need to cancel or reschedule your plans. Nobody want’s to throw away a bunch of perfectly good food when their refrigerator breaks.
9. Lack of interest / change of heart
Example:
- I don’t feel up for attending.
- I’m no longer interested in the event and I’d prefer to stay home.
- I’m not feeling up for going today, but maybe we can reschedule for another time.
It’s okay to change your mind! If you don’t feel like going, or if you’ve reconsidered, don’t be afraid to communicate your feelings. In fact, most people will really appreciate this honestly. Just tell them you don’t feel like going. Make new plans for something you’ll be excited about.
It’s most important that you’re honest, understanding, and respectful when you cancel plans. You should give people as much advance notice as possible. There are a few unwritten rules for canceling plans, and you should follow them the best you can.
Unwritten rules for canceling plans
- Don’t feel guilty – It’s normal to feel a little bit guilty when you have to back out of plans. However, it’s important that communication takes precedence over guilty. Make sure the person understands why you are unable to make it, that way they can plan accordingly without feeling hurt.
- Give adequate notice – If you need to cancel plan, give as much notice as you possibly can. This will help the other person better manage their time. Nobody likes to be caught off guard. I know it can be temping to wait till the last minute, but it’s not best practice.
- Communicate – It’s important to communicate effectively when you need to cancel plans. Explain why you are not able to attend and acknowledge that the plans were important. You may also want to mention that it was a difficult decision. Be sure to be clear in your communication as well. If you do not plan on attending, avoid using phrases like “I don’t think I can go”, or “I probably won’t make it. Be clear and certain that you will not be attending.
- Don’t be too hard on yourself – Canceling plans is not a sign of weakness. Life happens. As long as you are respectful and honest, it is okay to cancel from time to time.
With all that being said, remember, if you need to cancel or change your plans, you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. We only have so much time on this planet – let’s spend our days doing things we enjoy, with people we look forward to hanging out with!
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