One of the most important things in any relationship is learning how to communicate with each other. This means being able to share your feelings and listen to your partner without getting defensive. Without effective communication, it’s easy to start feeling like you’re not being heard or understood. This can lead to a build-up of resentment and cause arguments.
It can be very difficult to do this, especially if you’re the sensitive type. However, it’s worth making an effort so you can have the most supportive and fulfilling relationship possible.
If you find yourself in the “sensitive type” category – you’re not alone! It may feel like you take everything personally and arguments are waiting around every corner. I promise you, there are ways to overcome these challenges. It takes time, but with enough patience, you can work on being less sensitive and more understanding in your relationships.
What is a highly sensitive person?
You may or may not be aware that there’s actually a scientific term for people who are overly sensitive – “Highly Sensitive Person” (HSP). This is defined as someone who is “affected more deeply and for longer periods of time than others by both experiences and stimuli”.
In other words, if you’re an HSP, your emotions tend to be more intense than average and you’re more likely to be affected by your environment. You might find that things like loud noises, bright lights or strong scents are overwhelming and you tend to get “hangry” easily! Your friends and family might not understand or relate.
Being an HSP isn’t a bad thing, but it can certainly make life difficult at times. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone and there are ways to make things easier. There are lots of resources for HSPs out there! We have a few articles here, but you should also check out Highly Sensitive Refuge.
Here are some tips on how to stop being so sensitive in a relationship:
1. Be honest with yourself about why you’re feeling sensitive.
Are you worried about something specific that your partner said or did? Or is it something general like feeling like you’re not good enough for them? Once you identify the root of your insecurity, you can start to work on addressing it. Remember, you’re not perfect and it’s okay to have flaws. One great way to reflect on your feelings is journaling. Spend a few minutes every evening to journal about your relationship and dig deeper into why you’re feeling sensitive at times.
2. Talk to your partner about what’s going on.
Chances are, your partner may have no idea that you’re feeling this way. By opening up and communicating in your relationship, you can help to build a stronger bond. Plus, they may be able to offer reassurance and understanding that can help you feel better. Remember, communication is key.
3. Don’t take things personally.
I know, this is much easier said than done. Just because your partner said something that bothered you, it doesn’t mean they purposely tried to hurt or upset you. If you can learn to let go of personalization, it will be easier to manage your reactions. One way to do this is to remember that we all have different perspectives and what may bother you may not bother someone else. Try having your partner take a free personality test. This can offer a unique perspective and help you discover and appreciate the differences in your personality.
4. Practice self-compassion.
Treating yourself with kindness and understanding can help to reduce your sensitivity. This means being gentle with yourself when you make mistakes and recognizing that everyone has flaws. You may be your own worst critic. If you can learn to accept yourself, flaws and all, it will be much easier to manage your reactions in relationships.
5. Seek professional help.
If you find that you’re struggling to manage your sensitivities, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and support to help you develop healthier coping mechanisms. Many people find relief from seeking professional help and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
6. Remember that you’re not alone.
It’s common to feel sensitive in relationships, so don’t beat yourself up about it. Just focus on making the necessary changes so that you can feel better and have a more positive experience. It’s also important to build a support system of friends or family members who understand and can relate to what you’re going through.
7. Seek out supportive relationships.
Having a strong support system can make a big difference when you’re working on your sensitivity. Find friends or family members who will understand and accept you for who you are. These people can provide a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on when needed.
8. Be patient with yourself.
Change doesn’t happen overnight, so don’t expect to completely transform your sensitivities overnight. Just focus on taking things one step at a time and be proud of the progress you make. Journaling is a great way to track your progress and keep yourself motivated.
9. Seek out positive experiences.
It’s important to find things that make you happy and help you feel good about yourself. This can be anything from listening to your favorite music to spending time hiking in nature. When you focus on the positive, it will be easier to move forward and let go of the negative. Even small changes can make a big difference. Learn to practice gratitude and find experiences that bring you joy.
10. Have realistic expectations.
Part of being sensitive is having high standards for yourself and others. You may even be a bit of a perfectionist. While it’s good to have high standards, it’s important to be realistic. No one is perfect and things will go wrong from time to time. Just try to take things in stride and remember that everyone makes mistakes (including yourself).
11. Take a break from social media.
If you find that you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, it may be helpful to take a break from social media. This can help you to focus on your own life and relationships instead of what everyone else is doing. Remember, not everything is as perfect as it seems on social media. Everyone has their own problems and struggles. People tend to display the best version of themselves in public.
12. Find an activity that helps you relax.
When you’re feeling stressed or sensitive, it can be helpful to find an activity that helps you relax. Self-care is extremely important, especially when you’re working on managing your sensitivities. This can be anything from taking a hot bath to reading your favorite book. Take time to fit self-care into your schedule.
13. Avoid people who trigger your sensitivities.
If there are certain people in your life who tend to trigger your sensitivities, it may be best to avoid them. This can help you to protect your mental health and focus on more positive relationships. Triggering people can be anyone from a negative friend to a critical family member. Slowly work on removing toxic people from your life.
14. Set boundaries with others.
It’s important to learn to set boundaries with others. This means saying no when you don’t want to do something and communicating your needs in a relationship. When you have strong boundaries, it will be easier to protect yourself from hurtful comments or actions. This can be difficult, especially if you’re a people pleaser, but it’s worth it in the long run. Start with small steps and take it day by day.
15. Practice assertiveness.
Assertiveness is the ability to stand up for yourself in a respectful way. This means being able to express your needs and wants without being afraid of what others will think. When you’re assertive, you’re less likely to internalize hurtful comments or actions. One way to practice assertiveness is to role-play with a friend or family member you trust. You can work out different scenarios, so you’re more prepared when they happen.
16. Remember that you can’t please everyone.
One of the most important things to remember is that you can’t please everyone. There will always be people who don’t like you or agree with you. That’s okay. You don’t need everyone to approve of you in order to be happy. Just focus on the people who do love and support you. Remember, you can be the most beautiful and perfect rose, but there will always be someone who doesn’t like roses.
17. Don’t be afraid to be yourself.
The most important thing is to be true to yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not just to please others. When you’re authentic, it’s easier to find people who will accept and support you. Even if you’re not perfect, you’re still worthy of love and respect. Just be yourself and the right people will come into your life.
Managing sensitivity goes hand-in-hand with confidence and building your self esteem. It’s okay to be sensitive, but it’s important to work on managing it in a way that works for you. Just remember that you’re not alone and there are people who love and support you.
Learning how to stop being so sensitive in a relationship can take time and effort. However, it’s worth it if it means having a more supportive and fulfilling connection with your partner. By communicating openly, practicing self-compassion, and seeking professional help when needed, you can make progress in overcoming your sensitivity.